Go ahead and grab your glass of "grapes".
Although I would prefer writing about my earth shattering dates with Steve Martin, they haven't happened. That doesn't mean that they won't it just means that he hasn't come to his senses yet. So I have decided to touch on a topic that everyone can relate to in one form or another, weight loss. Whether you are already skinny but struggle with that pesky 5lbs or you are near 400lbs and just can't get off that last 250lbs, it is something that seems to effect a great deal of us. Recently I was on a flight and this guy sat next me who was dressed decently and have a few extra pounds on him but not enough to be considered a fatty. During the flight he was chatting me up about his home in the Hollywood Hills and the cities he travels to around the world for work. This conversation not only had me ordering several in flight adult beverages but also made me think that he is just a typical douche bag flaunting a lifestyle that he doesn't actually have. Once he stopped sharing the details of his life, he asked me what I did for a living. In an effort to get him to lose interest in me, I told him that I was spending this year losing weight. Let's face it, one of the biggest turn offs to a man is the mere suggestion of fat. I don't care how large his erection gets, talk about obesity and that thing goes more limp than a gay man at a girly strip club. This was the one exception to that rule. Suddenly my talkative stranger seemed interested in what I had to say. Not quite the reaction I expected. I went on to tell him about the amount of weight I had lost so far and that led to a series of questions regarding my diet and exercise regime. He then shared that he had about 20 extra pounds that he was struggling with and how he has hired trainers and nutritionists but just couldn't get that weight off. Before we knew it, the flight was over and we parted ways. He gave me his business card and asked me to stay in touch and maybe I could help him shed a pound or two. That weekend I was in my hotel room and decided to look this guy up online. Thanks to Google, I discovered that this man was a very successful billionaire. Not millions but billions. I spent the next hour reading about his list of accomplishments and how he could own just about anything in this world. What is the point of this might you ask? Maybe he should've paid for my bottles of wine on the flight? Okay well besides that, I learned two important lessons by this experience. First one is that you never know who you might meet on a plane. As much as they may be full of shit, they also might just be legit. The most important lesson I took away from this was that it doesn't matter who you are or what you have, weight is something that we have in common. Let's be honest, the only thing I had in common with this guy was that we both like money (and wine). Since that flight, we now exchange emails and talk about food and workouts. He wasn't such a douche bag after all.
Man, this wine glass isn't big enough. This constant refilling is annoying. Must look into buying one of those glasses that holds an entire bottle in it.
Since my Donald Trump encounter, I have found myself in the middle of many conversations with all different types of people about weight. What is interesting is that people seem more open to discuss sex with total strangers rather than fat. "Hi, my name is Eric and I like anal sex". The crowd nods and looks sympathetic and supportive.
"Hi, my name is Christy and I am 200lbs overweight". The room gasps and no one makes eye contact with me.
Why is this? Seriously, how likely are we to walk into a room with 100 random people and discover that we all enjoy a little back door action in bed? Okay so I might be one of "those" people but I guarantee that the other 99 strangers don't all feel the same way (don't knock it until you try it). However, I believe that in that same room of people, each and every person could say that there is or was a time that they were carrying extra weight and/or uncomfortable with their bodies. This theory has led me to realize that I should be more open about it and share my life long experience with fat and the loss of it. I clearly have no problem with being an open book about my dating disasters and the total idiots I have wasted my time on so why not speak candidly about obesity as well?
I turned 37 back in September(gasp, gulp) and it was the first birthday I have had where my wish wasn't to lose weight while blowing out my candles. This time I was actually down almost 100lbs since May and counting. Now I am aware that saying my wish out loud won't make it come true but I am willing to take that chance for the sake of my blog. My wish was to be happy. This isn't the wine talking, I really did wish to be genuinely happy. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been outwardly miserable my entire life but in all fairness, I may always wear a big smile and laugh instead of cry but inside, I was sad and often times a lonely mess. Looking back on photos of my life, there were two things you'd see. I was always big and always smiling. When I was really young, I somehow learned that if I laughed instead of cried, then no one would catch on that I hated being so big. The more comfortable I acted about my body, then those around me would follow suit. Damn I was a smart kid! I have 3 older brothers and look like none of them. Growing up, they were all fit and good looking. Then there was me. Back in 1975, there had to be quite a few of those hospital mix ups right? Regardless, I grew up in a family where I couldn't relate to them in more ways than just physical. So I had developed and mastered the art of "faking it". This would be a skill that got me through bullying, job interviews, awkward moments and many bad sexual encounters. After all these years, I am now peeling back the layers of fat and discovering just who I am. Let me tell you this, losing weight is far more than just unwanted pounds. Shedding the weight is actually proving to be easier than the emotional uncovering that goes along with it. So why am I telling you all of this? My thought is that if we are all more open about such a taboo topic of obesity, then maybe it will become easier. Maybe we all won't so be scared of something that is so common. Better yet, we might be more supportive of one another rather than so judgmental. Okay, that was deep I know and I will be careful not to that it happen too often. So, if you happen to log on and read my blog, just know that it will now contain my journey of self discovery. This transformation will also include dating, sex, plenty of red wine and the sad truth.
Before I go on with stories and humiliation, I must go buy some more Merlot. Let's be honest, this glass isn't going to fill itself. Not to mention, I need to fulfill my daily serving of fruit. Like I said, grapes count!
Cheers to 2013!