Sunday, August 6, 2017
I know I know... It's been a long ass time since I have shared the nonsense that goes on in my little world and for that, I am sorry. Once you date someone who gets his willy sucked off by men and uses you for your money, connections and can't keep his dick up because he prefers penis, you tend to take a break from the self inflicted torture of dating. Well, at least I did. Although I have been enjoying the time to myself, I have gotten a wee bit lonely. I have amazing friends, a great career, lots of wine (that I am currently drinking) wonderful dogs and a few awesome family members but I can only take care of myself so much before it gets old. Not to mention, showing up to events solo after a certain age is not charming and batteries are freakin' expensive! It is fucking pathetic. So what do I do about it? I go back out into the big scary abyss of dating.
Jeez! One glass down and refilling as we speak. That wine goes down faster than Pamela on Tommy Lee!
One thing I should mention is that in the time I took off from dating, I learned a lot about myself. I also learned how to love who I am and not who I think I should be. What a difference that makes! My entire attitude has changed which will make finding the "one" better but more difficult. I won't put up with the bullshit that I used to because I felt like I had to tolerate it all because I didn't deserve better. What a load of crap! No, I deserve the total package. Let's face it, I was engaged to a douche bag who I knew was still in love with his ex wife. I put up with it because I didn't think enough of myself to do better. I am so grateful that I left that arrogant bastard. He probably would've called me her name during the vows.
I need to gulp down more "juice". Talking about that sorry excuse for a man gets me all riled up.
Okay... I am all better now and moving on...
The girls I work with all tell me that dating is a numbers game and if one tanks, then move on to the next. I was also advised not to use a free dating web site but rather join one where you have to pay because I would find a better crop of boys. Needless to day, once I signed up and entered my credit card number, I was off and running. I had my fair share of Nigerian princes who claim to have millions and if I send them money, I would then be rewarded with wealth and their sand bags ;)
Then a message from a guy popped up who actually lives here. Cute (check), Tall (check), Job(check), divorced(check), owns a vehicle(check) and wants a relationship(check). We messaged then moved on to text and then planned to meet up a few days later. That evening came and we met at a cool little restaurant downtown. He was even better looking in person and smelled great. Not going to lie, a nice smelling man is a huge turn on! A little cologne goes a long way. Just saying...
We had really nice conversation and he talked all about his daughters. During the course of the night, I found out that I know his ex wife. She just happens to own the salon I have been going to for 8 years. That didn't really seem to bother either one of us but just reminded me that Vegas is a small town. After dinner, he walked me to my car and asked if he could see me again. I said yes and then we hugged and kissed goodbye.
The following day I got off work and he called me. He sounded a bit strange and when I asked if he was okay, he proceeded to mention symptoms he was having throughout the day and asked my opinion. Truth be told, I thought that he was having a possible heart attack. In that moment, he just happened to be near a hospital so I told him to go into the ER and get checked out. That took no convincing. He went in and an hour later, he text and said that he was getting checked out because his EKG was "bad". I asked if he told anyone he was there and he said that he didn't want to worry anyone. I ended up going to see him because I thought it was shitty to be in that situation and by yourself. I walked in and he was surprised but happy to see me. The Cardiologist came in and told him that he was on the brink of a stroke and was going to be admitted. I stayed for a few hours and when he was close to falling asleep, I said goodbye. He thanked me several times for being there for him.
The following week, he was out of the hospital and wanted to take me out on a second date to "thank me" for what I had done for him. We met up on a Saturday night for dinner. It went really well. We laughed and talked more openly about things. I'm guessing near death can make you less worried about being polite and far easier to just let it all hang out. Afterwards, we said our goodbyes and sealed it with a kiss. A few days later I was at the salon getting my monthly color touch up done and he text asking what I was doing. When I told him, he immediately told me not to tell anyone there that we were seeing each other. Not that I was planing on it but asked him why. He got very defensive and said that he didn't want anyone knowing his business. Ummmmmm okay?!?!? I told him that I wouldn't but of course I told my stylist who just happens to be one of my closest friends. She didn't think too highly of him but was supportive of my seemingly happy feeling of adoration for him. I didn't hear from him after that. I didn't hear from him for several days which was odd because he was the one who text me good morning every day and throughout the day. I started to wonder if the poor guy had a stroke or worse so I sent him a text. That moron has the feature turned on in his phone that shows when the message was read. So I knew in fact that he read it! No reply. I sent one later asking if he was okay and again, he read it but nothing in return. I waited a bit then text that I can see that he is reading my messages but no response so it's good to know he's alive. That sarcastic humor didn't translate well. He snapped back with this little gem...
"I am sorry that I don't give you the attention you want. Obviously you want more out of me than I want to give you. Good luck Christy".
What in the actual fuck was that??!??!?!?!?!?! I had no words.
That was like a texting drive by!
All I could say was, "Good luck with your heart".
As I sit here chugging yet another glass of red wine goodness, I am still finding myself confused as to what actually happened there. I have no answer or resolution about it so I will just put him on the shelf along with the others. File him away in the ex files and move on. Okay....I did move on right away but that's another story for another night with a different bottle of wine.
Cheers and goodnight!